We certainly do live in a very secularized culture. The once-Christianized veneer (the Judeo-Christian ethic based on biblical morality) has worn off, and secularism and moral relativism have taken its place. And study after study just continues to confirm how secular this nation really has become. For example, according to a new study, nearly 80%—almost 8 in 10—of US teenagers (15–19 years old) “expect to cohabit before marriage.”

The vast majority of teenagers today expect that, sometime after high school, they’ll move in with a “romantic partner.” That may sound benign to some, but the Bible says that’s fornication, a sexual sin that flies in the face of God’s “very good” design for marriage and sexuality:

Genesis 2:24 KJV – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

And sadly, when these numbers were filtered for “weekly religious service attendance” (the survey results did not specify which religious services), the number only dropped to 70%!

Now, 95% of these same teenagers “expect to marry someday.” But by living with someone before they’re married, they are not only going against God’s design and sinning against him (and against each other), but they are setting themselves up for an increased chance of divorce when they do marry!

Marriage is not just a piece of paper or a romantic ceremony that formalizes an already committed relationship. It’s so much more than that—it’s the first institution God created (Genesis 1:26–27), the bedrock of the family and therefore society, the only appropriate, good, and holy setting for sex, and a picture of Christ’s relationship with his bride, the church.

Marriage should be honored by all, and we Christians should put on display—for our children, grandchildren, churches, and a watching world—God’s incredible design. How can we do that? Here are a few practical tips:

• Make sure you start with God’s Word. Start with Scripture to learn what marriage is all about, what roles God has ordained for husband and wife, and how each should act in marriage.
• Don’t complain to others. Marriage is beautiful and wonderful, but it’s also a relationship made up of two sinners! There will always be things about your marriage or your spouse to complain about. But what message is that sending? Instead of grumbling and complaining, be publicly (especially in front of your children) grateful for your marriage and your spouse. Then, if your complaints are worth airing, take them before the Lord and then, in a kind manner, before your spouse.
• Talk about relationships in popular media. When you watch a movie together as a family, talk about the relationships you saw depicted in the film or show. Were couples cohabitating? Point it out and discuss God’s very good design with your children. Did the filmmakers portray the husband as spineless, a bump on the couch, a sarcastic know-it-all who is usually wrong, or a fool? Discuss God’s design for men and husbands. There’s plenty of opportunities like these to use media to spark conversations about doctrine with your kids!
• Uplift marriage before others. Just as complaining can paint a very negative picture of marriage to others (and is, in itself, sinful!), uplifting marriage before others can help show how wonderful this institution really is! When you speak highly of marriage and your spouse, others will notice (and that will likely give you a chance not just to speak well of marriage but to share why Christ makes all the difference!).

Mally and I will celebrate 50 years of marriage this December. I am so thankful for a wife who has been one with me in the ministry God called us to. Without her, the ministry of AiG would not be where it is today or even exist. I can honestly say we love each other more than ever. And what is the core factor for a stable marriage? Having a third “partner”: the Lord Jesus Christ.

Marriage—not cohabitating—really is one of God’s gifts, and we must work to raise godly generations who understand and believe what the Bible says about the goodness of it.