Mark Twain said, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
Sometimes, a man may not fully appreciate what his father has done for him until he becomes a father himself. How important good and godly dads are. The father who faithfully stands beside his wife and children has become more and more of an oddity today because our culture has wrapped so much of the American ideal around self.
Our nation’s founders even wrote it into our Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Those are noble goals, and there is nothing wrong with them in and of themselves. But tragically in the United States today, we are a selfish culture. And we can trace most marital problems to simple selfishness—nothing more and nothing less.
Far too many men are saying to their wives and children, “I am done with you. I am no longer happy in this relationship. A more attractive woman has come along, and I’m going to go chase after her.” Men abandon their wives after a so-called affair, and wives abandon their husbands as well.
But is love merely some gooey emotion that simply comes and goes? Is it just some sentiment that we feel at times? Or is there more to it? A lot of men today are disengaging from their marriages, claiming they are no longer in love.
When a man makes the foolish decision to leave his wife and children and chase after some selfish pursuit, he isn’t thinking about what the long-term repercussions will be. He may think that it’s no big deal to dissolve the marriage and that the kids will bounce back. But he’s fooling himself.
That is why a man cannot, even for a moment, consider bailing on the commitment he made to his wife on his wedding day. Nor can he turn his back on his children. To do so would be the same as deserting in the face of battle and being branded a traitor.
Certainly, there are many pressures that come with fatherhood. Some dads feel ill-equipped. They don’t think they’re up to the task. Yet it’s better to be an okay but learning dad than to be an absent one. How important it is for dads to try to be the men God has called them to be, even in their later years, even when their children are adults and have their own children.
Perhaps you’re thinking, “I have failed as a father.” You can still change your behavior and attitude toward your children. You can still try to make up for some of that lost time. Do what you can—while you still can do it.
