Ask any God-fearing married couple for the key to a successful marriage, and among their myriad answers, you’re likely to hear one repeated piece of advice: Love and respect each other. They’re absolutely right.
The apostle Paul exhorted the Ephesian believers concerning marriage, telling wives, “Submit to your own husbands” (Ephesians 5:22), and husbands, “Love your wives” (v. 25). He continued, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband” (v. 33). These simple commands are a married couple’s God-given responsibilities, and they form the basis of every God-glorifying marriage.
In his teaching, Paul delineated a clear link between the God-instituted union of one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24) and the relationship between Christ and His bride—the church. Whether you’re married here on Earth or not, if you’ve placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, you have the amazing blessing of being known as the Lord’s bride. What an honor and joy we have knowing we are united with the God of the universe and will one day live with Him forever!
As Christ’s bride, we have several crucial responsibilities, which mirror Paul’s commands for married couples, that will draw us closer to our Lord.
Submit
Above all else, Paul taught wives to submit to their husbands. Likewise, Jesus’ brother James exhorted Christ’s bride to “submit to God” (James 4:7). But submission is not easy. It combats our human nature and desire for freedom of action, as we struggle to loosen our grip on the things we can affect. Concerning submission, Paul wrote to wives, “Submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22–24).
If we realized how much peace and joy we have when we give up control, we would find true satisfaction in throwing our fleshly desires aside and aligning our wills fully with God’s. He takes care of us and arranges all things to work together for our good (Romans 8:28) when we submit to His leading. We can demonstrate our faithful submission to Christ by obeying the commands He gave us in His Word. We must deny ourselves—our desires, our comforts, our plans—in deference to what we know to be right, revealed by His Holy Spirit ministering within us.
Respect
Mutual respect is another key ingredient to every godly marriage, and believers must demonstrate this trait in their love for Christ. How do we show respect for our spouses? We sacrificially and humbly serve and value them. God has called believers to respect Him in this same way. Similar to submitting to God, we must obey His commands to demonstrate that He is the Lord of our lives. Teaching about respect, Paul wrote, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
Jesus, “the King eternal, immortal, invisible … who alone is wise,” is worthy of “honor and glory forever and ever” (1 Timothy 1:17). His holiness demands our worship, and His authority demands our respect. Let us willingly replace our selfishness with respect for the Lord of glory.
Love
God is love (1 John 4:8). As the Author of marriage, His fingerprints grace the marriage covenant. Therefore, marriage thrives when love abounds and suffers when it is absent. As God designed, husbands and wives find great motivation to carry out their other marital responsibilities of submission and respect when they actively love each other, putting the desires and needs of their spouse above themselves. Paul instructed husbands, “Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:25–31).
The apostle John encouraged us to return our affection to our Bridegroom, Jesus, saying, “We love Him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). According to Jesus, our responsibility as His bride is the same: “Love the Lᴏʀᴅ your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). He also told His disciples, “If you love me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15).
So, to love Christ as we should, we must study Scripture and “be doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22). We must live righteously, loving the Lord and our neighbors (Matthew 22:39) and demonstrating that all of our allegiance and affection are His.
Becoming the Blameless Bride
God’s Word provides an unmistakable connection between the role of a bride and the role of members of the church, the bride of Christ. Being promised to our Savior who called us “out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9) should be our greatest joy, inspiring us to fulfill our duties enthusiastically. While we await our Bridegroom’s return, let’s “walk worthy of the calling with which [we] were called” (Ephesians 4:1) as the holy bride He has sanctified us to be.
