An article in the October issue of the liberal Christian Century magazine has raised alarms for those who believe Scripture plainly teaches that monogamous marriage between one man and woman is God’s natural and best design for sexual union and civilization’s bedrock institution.
David Congdon, a religious studies lecturer at the University of Kansas who has been described as an ex-evangelical, argues in an article titled “Understanding polyamory” that Christians should be open to “nonmonogamy,” and specifically polyamory—the concept of “many loves”—as a faithful expression of sexual union and relationship.
Unsurprisingly, Congdon has drawn challenges for his bold claims that “biblical and theological arguments in favor of polyamory are readily available” and that “Christians cannot simply assume that our faith straightforwardly supports the norm of monogamy.”
In a response article titled “There Is No Christian Case for Polyamory,” John Stonestreet and Andrew Carico from the Colson Center write that growing acceptance of polyamory, especially among young people, is traceable to the 2015 Obergefell Supreme Court decision that foisted homosexual marriage on the nation.
“By legalizing same-sex ‘marriage’ nationwide, the male/female distinction was treated as irrelevant for marriage, which opened the door to additional relational arrangements,” Stonestreet and Carico write in their Breakpoint worldview update. “In his dissent, Chief Justice John Roberts even questioned whether the arguments for same-sex marriage would justify ‘people who find fulfillment in polyamorous relationships.’ The answer is unfortunately ‘yes.’”
In arguing for polyamory, Congdon cites the Apostle Paul’s analogy in Ephesians 5:31-32 of the male-female marriage union to the union of Christ and His church as evidence that Paul is describing one church with multiple members. Thus, Congdon writes, “if Christ’s relationship to the church is supposed to be the model for marriage, it might as well be a plural marriage.”
Stonestreet and Carico counter that Jesus left no confusion about the marriage union.
“In Matthew 19, when asked about divorce, Jesus pointed to creation, how God made humans in His image, male and female, for one another. Quoting Genesis 2:24, that the man and woman become “one flesh,” Jesus rejected divorce.
“If God’s purposes in creation, that the sexual act and procreation exist rightfully within God’s design for marriage as exclusively between one man and one woman for a lifetime, are plain enough to guide us on that issue, it’s safe to guess what Jesus would’ve said had He been asked about polyamory instead.
“Paul also quoted Genesis 2:24 in his teaching on marriage in his Epistle to the Ephesians. And he wrote to Timothy that an elder must be ‘husband of one wife.’ It’s hard to imagine he would have affirmed the moral legitimacy of a ‘throuple.’”
Many opponents of same-sex marriage had argued before the Obergefell decision that any expanded legal view of marriage would inevitably lead to not only the acceptance of polygamy and polyamory but the eventual eradication of the nuclear family.
Back in 2015, the late Christian psychologist and author James Dobson wrote presciently that Obergefell was “only tangentially” about same-sex marriage and that it would “touch on every dimension of culture.”
“Already,” Dobson said, “there is speculation about other permutations of the same-sex marriage decision being added to the law, including polygamy and what are called polyamorous relationships, meaning ‘many loves.’ The decree represents a sharp turning point in the moral character of our nation, which is changing day by day.”
Stonestreet and Carico also note that empirical data show that “the greatest single predictor of a child’s long-term success is that they are raised in a home with married biological mom and dad” … and that “polyamory makes children the objects of yet another social experiment in order to cater to adult desire.”
Further, they write, “One of the most important ways Christians must be ready to give a reason for the hope that is within them [1 Peter 3:15] is by making the case for marriage. Even more, we must demonstrate God’s good design by living it out in our own homes.”
Congdon, a Wheaton College graduate who holds a Ph.D. in systematic theology from Princeton, is apparently a true believer in what he espouses. He has a book due out next year titled “Poly Theology: In Praise of Unnatural Love,” published by Fordham University Press.
Somerville, Massachusetts, in 2023, was the first U.S. city to legally protect polyamorous relationships. Portland, Oregon, has recently passed a law prohibiting discrimination based on “family or relationship structure.” And West Hollywood, California, has taken steps to develop a registry of “multi-partner domestic relationships.”
