Like much of the Western world today, ancient Ephesus was a culture involved in sexual immorality and pagan practices (cf. Acts 19:24–35). When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians, he gave instructions as to how families are to behave in a pagan culture (see Ephesians 5:22–6:4). Paul’s instructions for Christian families were at odds with the structure of the Roman family of his day; for example, the father had absolute power over his family (patria potestas), including the power of life and death. In the final section of Ephesians, we see that the battle over the family is part of a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12; cf. 2:2), and in that battle, we are called to “stand” (defend) against the schemes of the devil (Ephesians 6:11, 13, 14). Only when Christians are clothed with the armor of God will they be prepared to make a defensive stand against the devil and his strategies.

The Cultural Revolution Against the Family

If we are going to “stand” for the biblical understanding of the family in our culture, it is important to understand what “culture” is. The word culture is related to the Latin word cultus (worship), and it refers fundamentally to the public expression of our worship; it is religion externalized. Culture is what human beings do with God’s creation and how they apply their beliefs. For example, Western culture, which was once greatly influenced by Christianity, no longer accepts there is one true and living God but rather worships creation (Romans 1:25) and therefore seeks to apply its religious convictions by seeking to overturn the created order (Romans 1:26–27).

Looking at Western culture today, we can see how far removed we have become from God’s standard for the family (Genesis 1:26–28). If the family is replaced in our culture, what will replace it? Christian theologian and philosopher, Francis Schaeffer (1912–1984), who correctly perceived the implications of secularism, said, “[T]he humanist world view with inevitable certainty leads in the direction of statism. This is so because humanists, having no god, must put something at the center, and it is inevitably society, government, or the state.” This is the case today in Western culture where the state (government) is trying to replace and fulfill the role of the family. For many secular elites, the family is a source of infection that needs to be destroyed since it stands in the way of their utopian goal of statism (when the government has substantial, centralized control over social and economic affairs).

For generations now, Western societies have been taught various forms of Darwinian and Marxist views of the family. In an evolutionary worldview, the family is seen as an early primitive stage of human development that now needs to be transcended, abandoned, and replaced by a more enlightened and evolved version of social organization. German philosopher Karl Marx (1818–1883) made his anti-Christian motive for his anti-family agenda quite clear: “After the earthly family is discovered to be the secret of the holy family, the former must then itself be destroyed in theory and in practice.” For Marx, social reality informed what people believed, so in order to remove God (the holy family), it is imperative to destroy the earthly family (which bears the image of God). Over the last several decades, cultural Marxists have been in a social revolution against the earthly family and have helped to destroy it by promoting the following behaviours:

• no-fault divorce
• adultery
• radical feminism
• abortion
• euthanasia
• homosexual behavior
• transgenderism

Cultural Marxists understand that to change the social order of the family in society, then the sexual order needs to be changed (as traditionally the family influenced roles in society). Therefore, the LGBTQ movement has lobbied for same-sex “marriage,” as their goal is the overturning of the family. The religious (neo-pagan) environmentalists see in abortion the means to reduce the world’s surplus population and thereby regulate carbon emissions (cf. Genesis 1:28; Psalm 127:3–5). Pagan cultures who do not see people as made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) often have no respect for the elderly (euthanasia) or compassion for the young (abortion) in society (cf. Deuteronomy 28:50). Modern secular government education seeks to alienate children from their parents (religiously, ethically, relationally), so that they can influence future generations with a secular (naturalistic) worldview. Biblically speaking, every child has been entrusted as a gift to parents to steward and educate (cf. Deuteronomy 6:7; Ephesians 6:4). Many Western governments, however, do not see children as belonging to their parents but as units of the government. Furthermore, we often overlook the fact that modern humanistic educators have also created sociological concepts like the “teenager” (c. 1940s) with the inevitable expectation of rebellion of young people, rather than children being raised to become mature young men and women (cf. Ephesians 4:14–15).

The Gospel and the Family

Rather than tackle this issue of the family, however, many Christians say we should just preach the gospel. But this ignores the fact that marriage and family are foundational to the Christian worldview and the gospel. To understand the significance of marriage and the family, we need to go back to the beginning of the Bible.

The history of mankind begins with a wedding, when the Lord God gives the first woman, Eve, to the first man, Adam (Genesis 2:23–24). When the eternal Word of God, Jesus, comes into the world, the first miracle he does is at a wedding at Cana in Galilee (John 2:1–11). In his teaching ministry, when Jesus is asked about marriage and divorce, he goes back to Genesis and the beginning of creation to establish God’s original intention for marriage (Matthew 19:4–6). The Apostle Paul describes Christ’s relationship to his church as a marriage (Ephesians 5:31–32). Finally, Scripture ends with a wedding celebration (Revelation 19:7–9). Marriage is significant because the distinction between male and female speaks of our relationship to God as his creatures made in his image (Genesis 1:27). If Western culture destroys marriage and the family, then what is left of the Christian message (since Scripture begins and ends with a wedding and the church is the bride of Christ)? If the idea of family, marriage, father, and mother is destroyed, then what happens to the preaching of the gospel when God the Father sends his Son, the Lord Jesus, into the world to redeem sinners and adopt them into his family (John 5:23–24; Galatians 4:5)?

What are believers called to do in this context of the destruction of the family? Well, we need to set forth the righteousness of God through the proclamation and teaching of the gospel in our families. The reason God chose Abraham was to “command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). In the context of Genesis 18, this command for Abraham to teach his family about righteousness and justice (ethical demands) is so that they will not end up like the wicked people of Sodom (cf. Genesis 13:13, 19:7). When the people of Israel were about to enter Canaan (a pagan land), Moses commanded them to diligently teach their families the Word of God (Deuteronomy 6:1–7). Although this would be hard work, it would ultimately be for their good, preserve them alive, and be righteousness for them (Deuteronomy 6:24–25).

Remember that the Apostle Paul founded churches largely made up of Gentiles, though he evangelized Jews first in any given area, and Jewish believers were often important in church planting. Paul told Timothy, who was in Ephesus, that elders and deacons are to be the husbands of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2, 12). The church is to set forth a different model than the world. Not only that, but fathers are to faithfully teach the true nature of marriage and the family to their children. Fathers are to bring children up (as this is not something they will do themselves) “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The Greek word for “bring” (ektrepho) means “to nourish up to maturity” (see Ephesians 5:29). Our intention in bringing up our children is that we nourish them in the instruction of the Lord so that they become mature in the faith and can stand for Christ in an ungodly world. This is important as it is children who are going to govern the course of the future. Children rightly educated in the Christian worldview will be able to engage the culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The breakdown of the family in Western society is causing chaos for future generations, and we are seeing it unfold before our eyes. Christians need to “stand” and take responsibility for this by equipping themselves, in the power of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18), to recover the ministry of the family.

The biblical model of the family which is founded upon the history of creation being true is the only ground for human flourishing, and without it, society will collapse. The family is the creation of God, and no society gets to reinvent it.