When it comes to “self love,” there’s a lot of confusion—even among Christians. You’ve probably heard people say, “You need to learn to love yourself,” or “The Bible teaches us to love ourselves.” But is that really what Scripture says?
In my latest podcast episode, “Things Jesus Never Said: 7 Common Misconceptions Christians Still Believe,” I clear up this idea—along with many others—to point us back to biblical truth.
The Bible does not teach that we need to learn how to love ourselves, or that we don’t love ourselves enough.
In fact, it assumes we already do! When Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” He wasn’t suggesting self love, but assuming we already do love ourselves, and challenging us to extend that same care to others. In other words, He was saying, “Can you love your neighbor in the same way you love yourself?”
Truth is, most of us are already pretty obsessed with ourselves—we love ourselves too much. We’re constantly thinking about our own needs, our own happiness, and we even live in a society that encourages us to do so.
But Jesus completely flips the script on the world’s approach to self-focus and self-love.
Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24–25).
Instead of focusing on self love, Jesus calls us to self-denial. We’re invited to shift our focus from ourselves to God. And the beautiful paradox is that’s when true life is found.
